Hello, and welcome to Story Time with Firesite.

I have gone through my library and picked out my favorite kids stories to share with all of you. These are my top five all time favorites and I suggest you go out and get a copy for yourself and that special 'little' someone in your life.

These books are 100% real and were actually written for pre-teens. Seriously. No Lie.

#5 Starting off our countdown is a great little book called "Not Just Another Pretty Face".

This book was intended to help ugly girls realize there's hope for them. The tag line is that Beauty will make a guy look once, but it takes more to make him look twice. What a friggin load of crap!

I got news for the ugly fatties...we look at you just as much as the hot ones. In fact, the uglier and the fatter you are, the more we will stare.

However, if you want a guy to do more than look at you, your best bet is to lose some weight and learn how to use makeup & deodorant. You don't have to. If those twinkles and moonpies can't help but find themselves into your oversized checks, then wait until you're in your mid to late 30's and I am sure you can find some divorced guy down on his luck to roll you in flower.

#4 on our list is a lovely little tale (no pun intended) called "Love Knots". It's about a young girl named Kim, trying to cope with these new feelings she's feeling...

"You take this sailing stuff seriously, don't you?" Neil's deep voice and broad Australian accent gave Kim a little thrill. She had to look away from him or lose her concentration.

Rick always treated her like a little sister, but Neil was different...

#3 "What's Wrong with Daddy?"

What's wrong with this book?

Actually nothing. This is a heart warming short story of a girls dad who is dieing of cancer.

Let's just say in this fairytale, despite the title, there is no happy ending...

#2 Ahhhh, what says summer better than jail bait at the pool? This book tackles the hard hitting question "Why am I too Young?"

In this book it addresses the issue of a 13 year old girl, Callie, going after a (and I quote from the book) a bronze, blonde, 6'3" lifeguard.

Way to put in the mind of young girls what to want in a man. See Book #5 for a double standard.

It gets even creepier.

"The kangaroos in my stomach are jumping rope" Callie said as he walked by.

"He's too old for you." her friends said.

It's really weird Callie thought. "When I was 12, I was too old for things. Too old for dolls. Too old to act like a baby at the dentist, even though it scares me. So now that I'm thirteen..."

#1 "SUPERFUDGE" gets the number one spot on this countdown.

This is a story about....well...it's a story that probably has to do with some young boys or something. Look, I didn't even read the back of this book. This book gets top ranking for the title and cover alone.

Judging this book by it's cover makes me want to wash myself. I think a better title should have been "Richard Simmons: The Early Years"!